Tuesday 5th February

Time for an overdue update, I think. I have felt tired the passed few days and have spent most of the days dozing on and off during the day. I am certainly getting good at dropping off to sleep for short naps. The last few nights have been good as well. I have had very little coughing and on the occassions that I have started coughing the medication has helped to bring it back under control.

I would like to take this opportunity at thanking everyone who has left a comment. It is wonderful to think that anyone is interested enough to read my blog, the phrases "watching paint dry" or "clothes drying in a tumble dryer" spring to mind. It was my wife's idea as she kept saying it would be a way of keeping people up to date as to how I had been feeling.

The pain control medication has been increased today. It is a morphine derivative and as such the body gradually gets used to the level of it prescribed, so that the amount taken has to be increased just to keep the pain control the same.

To those who siphoned off the petrol from our car last night - I hope you choke on it ! Unfortunately the tank was pretty full.

This evening being Shrove Tuesday I am sitting here eating pancakes. The mixture was made by my mother-in-law and cooked by my father-in-law. They are delicious. They have certainly made it into a lovely evening.

I must say thanks to Tony & Claire for their generous offer over the DVD's. I must say, though, that I haven't finished looking through the extensive list yet.

Mark, what a lovely blast from the passed. What are you up to these days ? I hope all is well.

I must admit there have been times when I have asked "why me ?". I have always felt that it is a dangerous road to go down (and pointless really). It is not something that anyone can answer but rather requires a blind acceptance that there is an intelligence working. Ah faith. The ability to say that I don't know why this is happening but I accept/believe that there is a good reason for it and one that I will never know.

The silly thing is that one develops an image in one's mind as to how one is going to die. I always thought that I would stay fairly slim and mobile but just become more and more sleepy until I was spending most of my time asleep until I peacefully passed away. Ah the naivety of it. Cold hard reality is something very different. I now need walking sticks and a wheelchair to get around. The skin on my lower right leg las become damaged and now leaks lymphatic fluid like a teabag lets the tea through. It is currently being bandaged four times a day, i.e. every six hours, but could do with being bandaged every three hours by which time the dressings are soaking wet. The pain control continually needs to be tweaked. I can no longer sleep in a bed as I wake up coughing and spluttering, so I sleep in a recliner chair instead.

Ah Richard, how are things ? Hope all is well with the family. You must let me know how things have been going. Carlos has my email address if you fancy the idea.

Anyway, time to go for another night. Take care everyone, it certainly helps me to think that there are people out there who care enough to read my blog.